My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize