totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
no you cant smoke seaweed
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
