Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It's official drugs can't kill me
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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