wrigley field is MILF paradise
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
