the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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