You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
