Nicole vs. Life
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
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