I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
