Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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