I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
