I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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