4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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