My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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