For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
