So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize