Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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