East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
