no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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