Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
my being single is dangerous.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
