Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
