Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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