You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
