i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize