does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
