I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize