I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
you never un-have a 4some
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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