Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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