Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Swine flu. Run for my life!
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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