Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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