wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
