This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
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