I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
