im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
