K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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