If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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