Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
