I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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