I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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