ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
