he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
