even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize