No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
