You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
