she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
