At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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