Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
