I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
