how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize