So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
