His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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