come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
even my farts smell like vagina
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
