so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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