you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
