She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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