Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
