he thought i was a dude.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
