She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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