A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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